Overwhelmed???

This week has not been particularly great. I recently watched an Oprah (no I'm not a devout follower, but she's had some good shows lately) that discussed overwhelmed moms. When I dreamed of being a mom, I imagined myself as energetic, fun, and compassionate. If I were to describe actually being a mom, I hate to say it, but I usually say "overwhelming." I've always know that I wasn't alone in this feeling, but it was nice to watch that show where moms called in and shared some of my same frustrations. I've taken a small hiatus from blogging because when things get stressful or crazy in my life, I jump to the conclusion that I am alone when I see everyone "handling" life/kids/etc. much better in their blogs. Yes, I know that blog entries are just highlights. Does this make any sense? I hope so.

In my last ward, we had an amazing therapist come speak to the Relief Society. She discussed this in depth, and it was so comforting. She talked about putting some of our needs in the mix, and not only those of our family. I've been so overwhelmed as of late, and to help with it, I decided to take some scheduled time for me. I started planning on going to the gym Monday-Thursday mornings for a class and taking the kids to the Gym's daycare. I've also started to stress way less about the cleanliness of my house. I've never been one of those people that you can drop by, unannounced, and my house will be sparking clean, like I was expecting company. Granted, it's not a sloth pit or anything, but well lived in. My kids toys are in crazy places, and I usually have a load of laundry on the love seat because I like doing laundry, but don't care for putting it away... I have also come to the realization that I cannot control the way my children will react or behave in every situation, so I should not stress over how they will do in those situations. For example, London was in the Primary Program (her first one as a Sunbeam) last Sunday, and flat out refused to say her part, claiming she was too shy. Seriously! The girl is many things, but shy is not one of them. When it came to show time, she screamed for me at the pulpit, and never ended up saying her part. I know that in the big scheme of things, this is trivial, but her acting out in situations is a common occurance. Today, right before dance class, she threw a tantrum because she was "just too sad to dance today." It took a whole lot of coaxing and threatening (I'm sad to say) to convince her to stay at class. Overall, it's been a frustrating London week...Plus, Beck is potty training, and doing so great, but I think he may be using up most of my patience, so I feel like I'm short with London.

This is a super long post, so thanks for reading. I do it mostly because someday when my London is having a terrible "mom" day and is looking through my journal, I want her to know that frustration, and being overwhelmed is sometimes just part of being a mom.